Cake Night

At each daily meeting, HIW Groups offer 24-hour chips to newcomers. The group also offers 30-, 60-, and 90-day chips in recognition of those initial periods of continuous sobriety. This is a commonplace practice among A.A. groups. The How It Works Group, however, designates a separate night, usually the last Friday or Saturday of the month, to give special recognition to those achieving extended periods of sobriety. By holding a separate "Cake Night" each month, special attention can be directed at the "Sobriety Celebrants" without detracting from the regular meeting and its focus upon the topic of the daily reading. As part of the announcements at each meeting, individuals with upcoming birthdays are encouraged to place their names in the birthday box.

One of our members explains her experience in this regard.

"Early in my sobriety, I was attending a group where A.A. birthdays were celebrated during regular meeting times. On their birthday, some people received a lot of attention including praise, gifts and cakes. I noticed that other people also reaching important A.A. thresholds of sobriety received little or no attention. Who was 'favored' and who was not appeared to be strictly the result of choosing a particular sponsor or being a 'popular' member of the group. It was distracting, particularly to a newcomer like me who wanted to avoid calling attention to myself. I like the fact that the How It Works Group has decided to have a separate birthday night set aside. That way, it has become a time to celebrate 'sobriety' within the group rather than putting the emphasis on individual personalities." That said, people will be people and we find that many members continue to congratulate and acknowledge individuals on their A.A. birthday. Occasionally they go even further, praising them or thanking them for special help or guidance in their recovery program. While this may be distracting, it is not worth copping resentment, nor is it worth making another rule. Prudence is the watchword here.

One of the How It Works Group committee members is the “Cake Night” representative. That person is allotted group funds to purchase sobriety chips, one- year medallions and the six-month cupcakes and yearly cakes. The reason for using group funds to purchase the chips, medallions, and cakes is to (1) allow each member of the group to feel that they are part of the member’s sobriety, and (2) avoid having personalities and competition among members becoming involvedin selecting bigger, better, different cakes based on artificial criteria.

On “Cake Night”, a member of the group, usually one with more than a year of sobriety, is asked to "take" a speaker meeting. There are no hard and fast rules here. For example, the Palm Springs group has often chosen to have newcomers be the speakers on the “Cake Night” coinciding with its annual Anniversary Gala. The speaker talks forabout 20 minutes on his or her experience, strength, and hope.

The context for the talk is what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now. Those with six months, one year or multiple years are presented the cakes on behalf of the group. The recipients choose whom they would like to present their cake. It is suggested that this be limited to one person per cake recipient. That person says a few words of congratulations upon introduction of the recipient who in turn shares a few brief words, usually thanking specific individuals for special support or help and expressing gratitude for the solution found in the HIW Group program. The meeting always closes with the “Cake Night” song, "I Wanna Fly" by Errol Ranville. The entire group, accompanied by the audio rendition over the loudspeaker, sings this song while joined in a circle. The words to the song are reprinted on the following page.